“OMG HOLY BIONICS; BREE OLSON, LINDSAY & CHARLIE the SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN XXX
February 23, 2011 — HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — “Oh my God this is incredible news,” exclaimed Bionic Woman XXX director Will Ryder when told that Radar Online is reporting that Lindsay Wagner enjoyed a sexual affair with television actor Charlie Sheen and the Two and a Half Men stud is now living with his girlfriend Brooke Mueller and porn superstar Bree Olson in his Los Angeles mansion.
What makes this story incredibly sensational for Ryder is that his Bionic Woman & Six Million Dollar Man porn parody has just hit stores from X-Play/Digital Sin and Bree Olson plays the iconic Bionic Woman role made famous by Lindsay Wagner.
“You can’t make this stuff up,” reflected the 2010 AVN director of the year.
“Never in a million years did I think we would be getting a significant sales boost like this but Not Bionic Woman & the Six Million Dollar Man XXX is the hottest selling porn DVD in America right now and this will only help keep it number one. But really the truth is I don’t control who bangs each other so this might just be a fluke.”
In “Not Bionic Woman & the Six Million Dollar Man XXX”, horrible accidents leave Jaime Sommers and Steve Austin clinging to life. It is only the assistance of the government’s top-secret bionic program, which saves them. Equipped with the latest in cybernetic technology, Jaime and Steve become the Bionic Woman and the Six Million Dollar Man. Their powers include super strength, sexual heroics and bionic genitals. Both will be needed to fight and bang their way through their latest mission as Bree Olson is perfectly cast as the Bionic Woman and comeback performer-of-the-year candidate Dale Dabone plays Col. Steve Austin in this entertaining porn movie.
View the PG trailer here www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rd-LVufh-Rg&feature=player_embedded
In the real world Charlie Sheen banged Lindsay and Bree and Kacey and some of the girls have reported that he does not have bionic genitals but does have a bionic wallet.
The festive mood in Ryder’s Hollywood office is only slightly dampened when a secretary rushes in to inform him that the actual name of the girl being reported by Radar Online is Lindsay Wager not Lindsay Wagner.
“Who the fuck is Lindsay Wager?” blasts the director.
“I don’t know it’s some dumb whore that has jumped onto the Charlie Sheen bandwagon I guess,” replied the super sexy twenty-something sexretary wearing a www.sitcums.com t-shirt.
Ryder bumped into Bree Olson’s agent last night in Hollywood and not a word was mentioned about Bree allegedly living with Sheen adding to the credibility of the story.
“He kept his mouth shut tighter than a virgin’s vagina at church choir practice,” Ryder reflected. “I knew he was hiding something but he’s a Green Bay fan so I didn’t want to rough him up.”
In any case, the Sheen/Bionic story gets more interesting by the day because in addition to Not Bionic Woman & the Six Million Dollar Man XXX, Ryder and his X-Play production company also have a hilarious movie just released called Not Charlie Sheen’s House of Whores XXX also distributed by Digital Sin.
Not Charlie Sheen’s House of Whores XXX www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hkb2u0wNHk stars Bree Olson, Capri Anderson, Melanie Rios, Tanner Mayes, Gigi Rivera, Jenna Presley, the late great Chloe Jones and the wonderfully talkative Kacey Jordan.
Not Bionic Woman & the Six Million Dollar Man XXX www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rd-LVufh-Rg&feature=player_embedded stars Bree Olson, Aubrey Adams, Danica Dillon, Victoria White, Kim Kennedy, Dale Dabone, Jack Lawrence, Eric Swiss, Chad Diamond, Rocco Reed, and Mike Horner as Oscar.
Sales – New Sensations / Digital Sin/ Belle- Sales@NewSensations.com or nsdssales@newsensations.com
800.748.6767
About X-Play:
X-Play is the award-winning adult movie production studio credited with igniting the current porn parody craze, which has revitalized movie sales nationwide. Director Will Ryder, the 2010 AVN, XRCO, CAVR, XCritic and NightMoves director of the year and XBiz People’s Choice Porn Director of the Year, along with production partner Scott David, created dozens of top-selling titles including parodies of the “Brady Bunch”, “Married with Children”, “Bewitched”, “The Cosbys”, “M*A*S*H”, “Airplane”, “Britney Spears”, “Charlie’s Angels”, Bionic Woman & the Six Million Dollar Man”, and upcoming movies including “Rocky” and the mega-production, XXX parody of “The Wizard of Oz”. Since each of X-Play’s movies begins with the word “Not”, they were awarded a United States Trademark barring any other company from using the word NOT to describe their porn movie parody. For more information, visit www.sitcums.com
About New Sensations / Digital Sin:
New Sensations and Digital Sin are in the vanguard of the adult industry, long established as worldwide leaders in adult film and now at the forefront of novelty production. A commitment to creating and producing high quality, erotic content in a variety of genres led to over 600 prestigious AVN award nominations and worldwide acclaim for its bestselling series. Company founder Scott Taylor pioneered the interactive DVD format and placed New Sensations on the map with the praised and highly awarded series, “My Plaything”. The studios came to further prominence with big budget parodies. In 2010, New Sensations expanded to new territory as the first to create adult movies focusing on passion and love with The Romance Series, while New Sensations Novelties incorporated its sense of cinematic quality into realistic sex molds, stylish Tatu Vibes and more. All the acclaimed movies are available on a variety of platforms, including DVD, VOD, mobile delivery, hotel, IPTV and pay-per-view. New Sensations’ commitment to excellence continues to establish the adult industry more prestigiously in the mainstream eye. For more information visit www.NewSensations.com
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